Here’s a question sent to my email recently:
I’m starting to wonder if I have an issue!
I see many people around me being single for few months and back in a new relationship.
I barely meet someone I might consider interesting maybe once a year.
How do people hop from one relationship to another and a partner that quickly!
7 years single… I thing I am über picky!
A Bit Of Tough Love
Forgive me in advance for my honesty and tough love.
If you have been single for 7 years, hardly meet someone worth your time once a year and is not happy about it is time to ask yourself what is the problem?
Perhaps my answer is not the one you would like to read, but I do not advocate for toxic positivity.
A lot of people like to tout the blá-blá-blá “you are where you are suppose to be”, “the right person is being prepared for you” etc.
There’s Nothing GREAT To Be Said About Someone Who Cannot Attract A Man
Sorry ladies, but NO! Those are lies we tell ourselves to justify our inability to attract, connect and keep a man that will give us the relationship we deserve.
There is nothing to be praised about someone who cannot connect to men, attract their interest and keep a man interested enough to develop a lasting connection. There is clearly an issue that needs to be addressed.
I think you could start by learning about what it takes to create and develop a high value connection.
On top of that, perhaps you should explore the idea that you may be pushing men away! Maybe you have a problem with self sabotage, or maybe you have abandonment issues or anxious attachment.
All of these things could prove to be a barrier for you to find lasing love.
Start By Asking Yourself WHY
Seven years alone – you are clearly no happy about it – should tell you something. Start by asking yourself in all honesty WHY you think it hasn’t happened for you yet?
Start asking yourself again: WHY you are attracting these men. What behaviour in you paves the way to this type of people to try to enter into your life?
If you feel you cannot do it on your own consider professional counselling. But there is a lot you can learn on my website here (just read all the articles I have written). I don’t know you but we all deserve and can find a good partner, or at least date around until the right one comes along.
It doesn’t matter if you are not Gisele Bündchen, if you have degrees or not; or even if you are divorced with kids. A feminine woman who feels good in her own skin will always attract males.
Plenty of women with and without children, previously married or not, under 30 or over 50 – can choose who and when I want to date.
And I know you can too! You just need to switch your inner goddess on. But that requires some work on your part and it all starts by recognising that there is a problem.
(If you’ve been with an abusive ex boyfriend or husband, you may need support for your healing.)
Also, just in case you have been in an abusive relationship in the past, just like a lot of women have, be careful with patterns that might have engraved themselves in you.
As Stacy Brookman says, One of the most disconcerting realities of trying to get past old wounds is that emotional abuse leaves behind hidden, abandoned land mines.
Counseling might help you to understand and get rid of this negative old stuff within you.
The Answer Is In How You Show Up When Dating
The way we show up as women says a lot about the men we attract.
Perhaps you should do some work on that, on finding out why you are not attracting interesting men who level up to your expectations. Perhaps it is time to start working on yourself instead, in order to change how men perceive you.
There’s nothing wrong with eliminating the men who aren’t right for you.
However, you said in your email to me that you see people around you in relationships and that nothing happens to you in seven years. Now you mentioned that those relationships are broken… well, then do NOT compare yourself to them! Level up!
Try reading The Feminine Woman’s articles on high value, and how the way we show up as woman will settle the energy for the men entering our lives.
I firmly believe that when you make that switch, everything will change for you. For the better.
Sending you hugs!