Is it superficial for tall women to rule out dating men who are shorter?

When a woman is above average height, she has to make a choice between choosing to be comfortable dating shorter men. Or, choosing to eliminate shorter men altogether.

Everyone knows that a man can be masculine at any height. In theory, a man’s height has nothing to do with how much value he has.

However, some taller women have have the unfortunate experience of dating shorter men, who project their own insecurities onto them. In other words, they’ve learned that when around tall women, a man’s Napoleon syndrome is triggered.

That kind of experience isn’t nice for a taller women. Taller women already find dating harder, as they have to deal with the fact that most of the male population won’t be taller than them.

Let alone the fact that plenty of men may feel inadequate dating them and try to dictate the types of shows they wear (so as to minimize a tall woman’s height).

Due to previous bad experiences, some taller women (6 ft and above) resort to automatically filtering out shorter men in their online dating profiles.

As one woman I coached shared:

“I got called superficial by many men and also by a female friend too for wanting to date someone taller than me.

I feel it is a shadow I needed to embrace. I needed to be ok with wanting to meet men taller than me. (Same applies to wanting to date men without children, now I own it so much).

Once I integrated that side of me, I never felt judged again about my preferences.

Energy is smart, people pick up on your shadow and push towards your weaknesses, it is simply a law.

It hasn’t happened to me yet, but of course I can still attract someone in the future who will call me superficial for wanting to date someone taller. But for me, by then it will be like water on a duck’s back 

Interestingly once I owned that about me, I started getting very smart about predicting men’s height and who is insecure.”

Some women choose to own the fact that they are tall and therefore prefer to have a man taller than them. It is only natural that women of any height feel more feminine around taller men.

On the other end of the spectrum, there are very tall women who find that they get better results in their dating life if they don’t explicitly state their desire to find a man taller than they are.

Here’s an above average height woman’s account of dating short men

Take this example of a very tall friend of mine. I asked her to share her thoughts on being in the dating pool as a tall woman. This is what she had to say:

“Maybe because I am super tall, only guys that are really into tall women talk to me so this has never been an issue for me.

I usually wear flats for first dates unless my date is taller than me but I have men even tell me they don’t mind if I wear heels. (I only wear 2 inch heels typically nothing too high).

I am 6’4 so I am taller than most guys. I am open to dating guys that are shorter than me.

I find that most guys that I date are very masculine, confident and secure with themselves.

No guy with “Napoleon syndrome” would feel comfortable dating a very tall woman. I’ve encountered these men but I am not interested in dating them and they are not interested in dating me.

If I was pressed to state a preference, of course I’d say that I prefer a man who is over 6ft. But I do not state this requirement in my profile, as this comes across as shallow and I realise that there can always be an exception to the rule.

I try to stay open minded. It is a lot more important to me to have a partner that is masculine and a gentleman than him being taller than me.

When I’m dating online, here’s what I do. I state my height in my profile and that’s it.

I do not have any more discussions about my height. And I automatically assume that the guys that are asking me out on a date are confident and secure. So it really has not been an issue for me.”

Tall women experience more competition for the highly sought after men

Since many tall women naturally prefer a man closer to their own height, and also state that preference on their profile, it’s a stark reality that they need to deal with greater competition.

Who wants the tall guys? Not just the tall women, that’s for sure. So that fact of the matter is, tall women are competing with short women for tall men, too.

Yes it can take longer to find “the one”. The one tall dark and handsome man that fits your “archetype”.

But plenty of women are willing to make this sacrifice, because the honest truth is that even if they like a shorter guy, they always find themselves wishing the guy was taller.

Not only that, but they find themselves hoping for someone taller, and consequently checking out the taller guys when they are with a short guy.

This is a difficult position to be in, because it will make the short or average height guy feel insecure!

This phenomenon makes it much more appealing to date with the explicit preference for a man who is taller than themselves.

Of course, there’s the possibility that they are ruling out some potentially nice men just based on their height, and of course most women like tall men, so all women generally have more competition for the tall men.

Not to mention that the tall guys are used to all the women fawning over them so they also generally have more options.

Is it superficial to rule out shorter guys?

Yes and no.

On the one hand, it pays to know what you like and state your standards. In a way, that can be considered as you embracing your height. Or accepting the reality of it.

There’s every reason why a tall woman should embrace her height. The solution is to only date guys that see you as a goddess, and do not entertain anything else.

At the same time, you want to keep an open mind. As I’ve mentioned before in another article, there are plenty of taller women dating shorter men. Happily!

It’s all about the guy’s energy. A guy could be short but he could make up for it in other ways. There are so many things that make up the whole package when it comes to a man’s mate value. If you have a standard that says you only want men taller than you, great. But always be willing to keep an open mind, as love and connection can show up in all shapes and sizes.

Alice Wang

Alice Wang

Hi there! I'm Alice and welcome to my online magazine! I would to discuss topics around relationships and love, (don't we all as woman?). I hope you enjoy my articles and if you need advice, don't hesitate to reach out!

One Comment

Leave a Reply