Is it superficial for tall women to rule out dating men who are shorter?

Is it superficial for tall women to rule out dating men who are shorter?

When a woman is above average height, she has to make a choice between choosing to be comfortable dating shorter men. Or, choosing to eliminate shorter men altogether.

Everyone knows that a man can be masculine at any height. In theory, a man’s height has nothing to do with how much value he has.

However, some taller women have have the unfortunate experience of dating shorter men, who project their own insecurities onto them. In other words, they’ve learned that when around tall women, a man’s Napoleon syndrome is triggered.

That kind of experience isn’t nice for a taller women. Taller women already find dating harder, as they have to deal with the fact that most of the male population won’t be taller than them.

Let alone the fact that plenty of men may feel inadequate dating them and try to dictate the types of shows they wear (so as to minimize a tall woman’s height).

Due to previous bad experiences, some taller women (6 ft and above) resort to automatically filtering out shorter men in their online dating profiles.

As one woman I coached shared:

“I got called superficial by many men and also by a female friend too for wanting to date someone taller than me.

I feel it is a shadow I needed to embrace. I needed to be ok with wanting to meet men taller than me. (Same applies to wanting to date men without children, now I own it so much).

Once I integrated that side of me, I never felt judged again about my preferences.

Energy is smart, people pick up on your shadow and push towards your weaknesses, it is simply a law.

It hasn’t happened to me yet, but of course I can still attract someone in the future who will call me superficial for wanting to date someone taller. But for me, by then it will be like water on a duck’s back 

Interestingly once I owned that about me, I started getting very smart about predicting men’s height and who is insecure.”

Some women choose to own the fact that they are tall and therefore prefer to have a man taller than them. It is only natural that women of any height feel more feminine around taller men.

On the other end of the spectrum, there are very tall women who find that they get better results in their dating life if they don’t explicitly state their desire to find a man taller than they are.

Here’s an above average height woman’s account of dating short men

Take this example of a very tall friend of mine. I asked her to share her thoughts on being in the dating pool as a tall woman. This is what she had to say:

“Maybe because I am super tall, only guys that are really into tall women talk to me so this has never been an issue for me.

I usually wear flats for first dates unless my date is taller than me but I have men even tell me they don’t mind if I wear heels. (I only wear 2 inch heels typically nothing too high).

I am 6’4 so I am taller than most guys. I am open to dating guys that are shorter than me.

I find that most guys that I date are very masculine, confident and secure with themselves.

No guy with “Napoleon syndrome” would feel comfortable dating a very tall woman. I’ve encountered these men but I am not interested in dating them and they are not interested in dating me.

If I was pressed to state a preference, of course I’d say that I prefer a man who is over 6ft. But I do not state this requirement in my profile, as this comes across as shallow and I realise that there can always be an exception to the rule.

I try to stay open minded. It is a lot more important to me to have a partner that is masculine and a gentleman than him being taller than me.

When I’m dating online, here’s what I do. I state my height in my profile and that’s it.

I do not have any more discussions about my height. And I automatically assume that the guys that are asking me out on a date are confident and secure. So it really has not been an issue for me.”

Tall women experience more competition for the highly sought after men

Since many tall women naturally prefer a man closer to their own height, and also state that preference on their profile, it’s a stark reality that they need to deal with greater competition.

Who wants the tall guys? Not just the tall women, that’s for sure. So that fact of the matter is, tall women are competing with short women for tall men, too.

Yes it can take longer to find “the one”. The one tall dark and handsome man that fits your “archetype”.

But plenty of women are willing to make this sacrifice, because the honest truth is that even if they like a shorter guy, they always find themselves wishing the guy was taller.

Not only that, but they find themselves hoping for someone taller, and consequently checking out the taller guys when they are with a short guy.

This is a difficult position to be in, because it will make the short or average height guy feel insecure!

This phenomenon makes it much more appealing to date with the explicit preference for a man who is taller than themselves.

Of course, there’s the possibility that they are ruling out some potentially nice men just based on their height, and of course most women like tall men, so all women generally have more competition for the tall men.

Not to mention that the tall guys are used to all the women fawning over them so they also generally have more options.

Is it superficial to rule out shorter guys?

Yes and no.

On the one hand, it pays to know what you like and state your standards. In a way, that can be considered as you embracing your height. Or accepting the reality of it.

There’s every reason why a tall woman should embrace her height. The solution is to only date guys that see you as a goddess, and do not entertain anything else.

At the same time, you want to keep an open mind. As I’ve mentioned before in another article, there are plenty of taller women dating shorter men. Happily!

It’s all about the guy’s energy. A guy could be short but he could make up for it in other ways. There are so many things that make up the whole package when it comes to a man’s mate value. If you have a standard that says you only want men taller than you, great. But always be willing to keep an open mind, as love and connection can show up in all shapes and sizes.

14 thoughts on “Is it superficial for tall women to rule out dating men who are shorter?”

  1. Came across your interesting blog about being superficial for taller women to be or not to be with shorter men. I am a reasonably tall guy 6’3” and usually prefer woman between 6’1”
    to 6’5” and appreciate the fact they would want to wear hi heels in my company. I have always found it very interesting how these very tall attractive women can and will try and control the height differential depending on their mood.
    I was recently involved with a beautiful woman 6’8” and with heels put at about 7’ and numerous times she would kick off her heels and make the remark, she didn’t realize 6’3” was that short and in perspective she was correct.

  2. I had an ex email me this blog and saw a response like almost a carbon copy.
    As a guy 6’2” my first wife was 6’1” and her wearing hi heels or any heels was not an issue, we just grew apart. I have recently become involved with a gorgeous woman age appropriate who is an astonishing 6’7” and at first only wore flats or maybe a 1” heel. Since now we are able to go out more she wears hi heels and honestly l have no problem, she’s fabulous it’s that simple and lately she’s been dropping little hints that maybe i’m not tall enough and it’s like superficial and hypocritical as well, since everything in the bedroom couldn’t be better.

  3. Since we are in our 50s my woman (gf) friend showed me this blog and as a male 6’3” she’s a really gorgeous lady
    6’5” with a very serious attraction for one another and in addition we don’t tell one another what to wear and that includes her desire to wear hi heels and that’s were her fabulous legs belong and maybe a few other places.

  4. Found this blog with some others while trying to tell my boyfriend it’s not unusual for a very tall woman to wear hi heels even when her boyfriend or husband is shorter as in our case i’m 6’5” and he is 6’1” and he does not discourage my shoe choice, he just says he supports whatever I choose to do.

  5. I was shown your blog by woman who I have been dating for awhile. She’s an
    extremely smart, beautiful woman who just happens to be 6’5” and i’m 6’2” and yes she wears hi heels and at times some awkwardness, and the other night with a chuckle I asked are you looking for a taller guy and she crouched down over and said being with you couldn’t be any better.

  6. First let me state that i’m a reasonably tall guy 6’2” in a relationship with a beautiful woman happens to be 6’4”
    Ok, leaving that aside, wouldn’t it be superficial for a woman to go after me because I am good looking reasonably tall and very WEALTHY?
    I think this height situation might be very overblown, if you like the guy or gal go for it, just one guy’s opinion.

  7. Came across your interesting blog and as a reasonably tall guy 6’2” not as tall as your referenced client, i’ve always been attracted to and dated taller women and presently involved with an
    attractive woman who is a statuesque 6’6” and thinks nothing of wearing a 5” heels and has no problem with our height difference.

  8. I was led to your site and being a tall man 6’3” in a relationship with a very attractive, smart, intelligent age appropriate woman who is 6’7” and yes she is taller and to place a label on us I
    find ludicrous and if she wants to wear heels that’s her decision and yes she becomes even taller and honestly that’s our business and nobody else’s. For some reason at times we are looked at like a porno event, she’s a gorgeous tall woman and i’m a good looking tall guy with a taller woman end of story.
    Everybody should be happy and find love for each like we have and get rid of the side nonsense.

  9. Came across your blog and found it somewhat interesting as a tall guy 6’3” and it seems every time I meet a tall/taller woman she has an issue/problem with her height(god given gift) and it always seems to be about wearing hi heels(big deal).
    Wear your hi heels, that’s what I tell my
    present lady friend who is 6’5” and in plain English ‘magnificent’ and everyone who sees her knows it immediately as I do.

  10. I get it everyone has their opinions and as a tall guy 6’2” considered good looking it seems every time I meet a woman who is a bit taller like 6’3” or 6’4” and for some reason they feel I object to their wearing hi heels and in fact yes height, beauty and intelligence all play an equal role for my attraction to them and honestly wearing hi heels is their choice and I certainly have no objections and actual relish that decision. I’m still hopeful of finding a tall beautiful woman who can embrace her towering dominance as I will.

  11. Why must I be made to feel like some pervert because as a tall guy 6’2” I find tall/taller women extremely attractive and usually very intelligent except for their not being happy with their god given gift height. I recently met a very attractive smart age appropriate woman who is 6’6” and she’s fabulous except for one issue, her height. Honestly she constantly feels i’m patronizing her which is totally and completely ridiculous and false. She met me the other evening wearing hi heels and when I got up to greet her with a hug/kiss she didn’t lean down making it a bit awkward and when I mentioned it she indicated just in one of those moods. I said if you were 6’2” and I was 6’6” and you wore those same 6” heels you’d still be taller, she laughed and said she your right.

  12. Came across your interesting and informative site and I certainly agree that women have every right to chose who they would want to date, be with and if height is a major factor in their decision so be it. I know over the years as a man who is 6’2” mostly attracted to tall and in some cases taller women either biologically or with their choice of footwear and some cases both. I personally don’t like to tower over a woman, however don’t mind a woman towering over me. I am presently in a relationship with a fabulous intelligent gorgeous very tall 6’7” woman and we both appreciate each other’s attributes and the fact I am a tall man she’s a taller woman never has or will be an issue in our relationship and honestly if it weren’t for outsiders (strangers, some friends) her being taller or me being shorter I don’t think would ever come up. One very lucky guy.

  13. I am considered a good looking guy 5’7”
    and recently met a very attractive woman who is 6’3” and who actually said to me what could we do outside the bedroom and I responded is there anything else and we are still together.

  14. I saw this blog and honestly the height situation really is or should be ones personal decision and I find in my situation being a fairly tall guy 6’3” and considered by others good looking every time I meet a taller women it never seems to go anywhere, case in point. Years ago I was in a relationship with a beautiful woman who was biologically 6’1” and started only wearing flats then a 2” heel and eventually a 6” heel and seemed to make her height advantage almost the center of our relationship or that was my opinion and we broke up. Just recently I meet a beautiful woman age appropriate who is a stunning biological 6’5” and feel i’m being tested by her shoe choice and quite frankly she’s taller than me and she handles what could be any awkwardness with such ease that I feel our height difference is almost nonexistent other than some stares or rude remarks in the background, i feel very fortunate being in this relationship.


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