Is he the kind of guy who’s looking for the real thing and hoping for the happily ever after?
Or is he the guy who’ll make you hope for a future together only to get into your pants?
Most importantly, wouldn’t it be great if there were genius questions to ask a guy to know his intentions and realize where you stand with him?
Well, first of all, you should understand that people don’t always know what they want, especially not right away.
Depending on how long you have been with the guy, he might still be trying to decide whether your relationship has real potential and whether he wants to be in a relationship with you to begin with.
This is fine, and you can’t expect every guy you fall for to instantly fall for you too.
However, you are more likely to have a future with someone who is looking for their ‘one’ or who has already decided that they want to settle down.
While it might still be early to tell if they’ll settle down with you or if you’re not that great of a match, having the intention to form a serious relationship is important.
A guy doesn’t need to be a player to be unsure about what he wants. However, is he ever going to be sure?
To help you, here’s a quick and easy quiz that will help you find out exactly how commitment-friendly he is:
How To Tell If He’s Lying Or Not?
Sometimes guys lie, but they don’t always just lie to you, they lie to themselves too.
A man could simply enjoy a single lifestyle and find a girl he could be serious with, but still be too tempted to go back to his old lifestyle.
The point is, guys aren’t looking to either marry or to use you. It’s not that simple.
However, you could usually tell what intentions a guy has if you ask him the right questions, and this can help you decide whether you want to stay with him or not.
Keep in mind that these questions don’t require honest or simple answers.
A guy could still try to lie to you and fool you (and if you suspect he’s going to lie or has got bad intent, then these banter-oriented, playful questions will reveal him instantly).
However, based on what he says and does when you ask him the following questions, you’ll get a pretty good idea of how he feels about having a future with you.
Pay attention to his reaction and don’t forget to trust your gut too!
So, could you have a future with him? Well ask him this:
#1. How do you feel about commitment and marriage?
Some people don’t want to get married and that’s okay.
However, if your guy freaks out at the very mention of commitment, let alone marriage, he probably doesn’t have big plans with you.
Maybe he doesn’t believe any relationship could have a future, or just yours, but either way, he’s not serious about you.
There’s a good chance he just wants a casual relationship.
We all know of guys like this, so how come they eventually do commit to someone?
The answer is that they found their ‘one and only’.
Every other woman was just their ‘one of many’.
As the renowned Relationship coach Renée Wade teaches us, guys put the women they meet in one of two baskets:
- The one and only basket, or
- The one of many basket
Even a woman they have been with for 10 years could be in the one of many basket.
They may just keep her around for as long as they can, and then dump her when the one and only comes along.
So how would you know if you’re potentially the one and only, or are just the one of many?
Keep reading and ask him some of the following questions.
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If he answers this question with “no, I don’t intend to get married”, or “I don’t want anything serious”, your best bet is to believe him rather than wasting your time.
Especially so if he answered a “no” through his actions, not just his words.
#2. Were you ever in love, and have you had serious relationships?
Some guys find it difficult to maintain a serious relationship even if they want one.
This is why some of the best questions to ask a guy to know his intentions are those related to his past experiences.
Has he had a serious long-term relationship before?
How long did it last? Why did it end?
Has he ever been in love?
Does he believe in love to begin with, or does he fall in love with every girl he meets?
Learn about his past, and you will learn about your future with him.
The truth is, a guy doesn’t have to be a player to have bad luck with relationships.
There might be some things about him that you don’t know which might have been causing problems in his past relationship, and will cause them in yours.
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#3. Do you like to be single?
Let’s face it, it can be awesome to be single sometimes.
Yes, there can be lonely nights, but no one’s stopping you from spending them with strangers, and that’s only one of the benefits of being single.
You can do what you want, when you want, and how you want it, without asking anyone for permission, without making compromises, or considering anyone’s feelings.
You don’t have any responsibility towards anyone. You’re free.
If you’re also independent and capable you could enjoy being alone much more than being in a relationship.
Not everyone is looking for someone to share a life with, some people just want to live their life their way.
If your guy likes being single, then either he’s an avoidant, a commitment-phobe or he won’t easily agree to a serious relationship with you specifically.
And even if he does, his single lifestyle will likely tempt him to go back to it.
There is something you can do about this, if you love a guy who is like this.
It may come as a surprise to you, but every man has inside him an emotional trigger that when it’s pushed, it makes him want to commit to one woman, and take care of one woman – for life.
#4. Are your friends in relationships?
You are who your friends are.
If a guy says he wants a family with you but goes partying with his single, drunk buddies every weekend, something doesn’t add up.
You probably hate his friends and think that they are a bad influence, and you are probably right, but it’s not their fault.
Your guy is just not as interested in settling down right now as he thinks he is.
On the other hand, if all of his friends are in serious relationships, or even married with children, he is likely eager to follow their way.
#5. Can I meet your friends, and/or family?
Maybe you are in a relationship, but are you officially in a relationship?
Are you happy to proudly introduce each other to your loved ones?
Have you used the words “boyfriend and girlfriend” and can you use them in public?
When you’re first starting to date, it’s normal to avoid introducing your new partner to your friends and family.
After all, you don’t know whether you’ll keep them around or they’re just something temporary. The problem is that this keeps being the reason even though you were together for a while… So what now?
If a guy doesn’t want to introduce you to his family, he is not serious about marrying you.
If he doesn’t want to introduce you to his friends, he is not sure that he even wants to be in a serious relationship with you.
#6. Where do you see yourself five years from now?
There is a reason people ask this question in job interviews. Some people have a plan, and some don’t.
Both are fine, but when you’re looking for something serious you’re not interested in “just seeing how it goes”.
If you’ve made plans for the future your partner’s plans should match yours.
For instance, if you see yourself starting a family five years from now and your partner sees themselves traveling the world or starting a business, you’re not going in the same direction.
#7. What do you think about our relationship, and where do you think it’s going?
For guys, it’s sometimes hard to say the truth with your words, especially if those words aren’t the ones the person wants to hear.
Most likely though, a guy will let you know what he thinks about your relationship.
Maybe he will be dishonest with his choice of words, but there will be hints that he wants out of the relationship or doesn’t take it that seriously.
For instance, he may say things like:
“Let’s see how it goes”
“Let’s not put a label on what we have”
Or similar phrases like that. These types of phrases most often indicate that you’re actually in a casual relationship.
#8. Are we seeing other people?
Always ask whether you’re exclusive, don’t assume it.
Maybe you hooked up, but if no one ever used the word “exclusive” he could be dating other people.
Unless you talk about being in a serious relationship, assume that your relationship is not serious and that he might be dating multiple people.
When you’re ready to commit, talk about seeing other people.
Maybe they’re not seeing anyone right now, but they could be interested in an open relationship or be interested in becoming polyamorous, so make sure you ask about those things.
#9. How do you feel about cheating and monogamy?
Maybe he wants a serious relationship but just isn’t “a one girl type of guy”.
How does he feel about cheating and monogamy in general? If a guy is still
considering his options and flirting with other girls, you aren’t likely to have the kind of future that you’re hoping for.
Unless you’re into having multiple partners too, avoid people who aren’t okay with monogamy.
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#10. What are your priorities right now?
Sometimes people aren’t ready to settle down because other areas of their lives need them more.
They prioritize work, travel, hobbies, or something else over relationships, family, and their love life in general.
Ask about a guy’s current priorities to see if he wants a family any time soon, if a family is what you want.
#11. Can you describe your ideal woman?
Maybe he wants a serious relationship, just not with you.
This doesn’t mean that you’re not attractive enough, not good enough, not funny enough, or not successful enough…
It means that you’re not the “ideal woman” that he’s looking for, and he wants her. So, ask him about her and see if you match the description or not.
Plus, even if you were the ideal woman, if there’s no real emotional connection between you guys, it’s so easy to return to the online dating apps and keep swiping.
It’s easy for guys to just do this (although there are some seriously good quality guys online, and I know this as many of my friends and some clients have met them and married them!)
…You just have to have the right approach online that makes you stand out as high value and become able to create that emotional connection with guys.
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(…Even if no man has ever given you any love and all you’ve encountered so far are pen pals, ghosts, booty calls, and incredible duds!)
#12. Do you want to plan a vacation together?
Traveling together is a big step in a relationship.
It gives you a chance to spend every day together, the entire day, and that’s similar to how things would be if you were living together.
Plus, traveling together gives you the opportunity to see how your partner behaves in new and unpredictable, sometimes even frustrating circumstances.
If he is ready for that he is ready or at least trying to be ready for the next big step.
#13. If you could wish for 3 things on New Year’s Eve, what would they be?
How similar are you when it comes to your goals, interests, and values?
One of the genius questions to ask a guy to know his intentions is which three things he would wish for on New Year’s Eve.
How much do your goals match?
Does he want the same things you do, or is he hoping for something that you couldn’t possibly be a part of?
#14. What do you like about being in a relationship?
Some people don’t like being in a relationship that much.
They think it limits their freedom, suffocates them, and/or distracts them from other things in their life.
They’re not that into all the lovey-dovey stuff and would rather just enjoy their alone time.
In other words, they might have an avoidant attachment style. If that’s the case, he’ll be difficult (but not impossible) to form any deep emotional connection or intimacy with.
So, does your guy like the idea of connecting or being in a relationship?
Or is he a loner that wants to stay a loner?
#15. How long should people date before having sex?
How quickly a guy expects to get sex usually indicates how quickly he got it before, or at least how quickly he wants to get it.
So, one of the questions to ask a guy to know his intentions is how long should people date before having sex.
Does he want sex right away, or is he willing to invest in a relationship before enjoying the physical part of it?
There are more questions to ask a guy to know his intentions, but if you ask him these 15 most important ones, you should have your answer.
Maybe you already knew the answer deep down before reading this article, and, in that case, you should trust your gut.
Don’t forget that men can lie. But when they’re sure that they’re in it for the real thing, it’s obvious through their actions!
You should also believe them when they say that they don’t want a relationship.
Best of luck out there, and thanks for reading!